I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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