I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
