I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
