you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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