Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
