I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Everyone says I win the strip club
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
