everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
