And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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