You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
