Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So vagazzling was a success
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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