Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
