He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
