this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
