There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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