My brain says no but my pants say off.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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