This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
