Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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