I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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