When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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