bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
