Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
