I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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