Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
