OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
