I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
