we're chasing vodka with high fives
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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