I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
