I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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