well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
