U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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