...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
