the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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