Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
