You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
