she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
