im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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