WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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