I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
