You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
