Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
