Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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