I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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