You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
