i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
