I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize