based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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