I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
zippers are such a cool invention
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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