We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
