Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you inspire me to be a worse person
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
