hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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