Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize