I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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