When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize