I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
