You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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