no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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