My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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