It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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