I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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