bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
