thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
