i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
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