Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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