Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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