I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You work out of a Hotel?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Welp...herpes.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
