I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
