How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My balls are so social today.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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