I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
