You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
